Trump Store: Nothing Says ‘Merry Christmas’ Like a Mug Shot

Photo: Retailer

For the Trumps, the holidays are all about embracing awkward contradictions — and making a quick buck off them. Is Melania Trump known for choosing bizarre White House holiday décor then complaining in a leaked phone call, “Who gives a fuck about Christmas stuff?” Yes. Did that stop her from making Christmas ornaments (and accompanying NFTs) her signature money-making venture after leaving the White House? Absolutely not.

So it’s no surprise that this year the official Donald Trump store has slapped the former president’s infamous mug shot on a variety of Christmas items. Trump showed off the items at an Iowa campaign stop on December 19:

The Trump team has always seen his mug shot as a golden marketing opportunity. Although he was cruelly denied his money shot during his first three arrests this year, his campaign was undeterred; for months, they simply sold fake mug-shot merchandise. When we finally got the real photo following Trump’s arrest in Fulton County, Georgia, on August 24, he immediately tweeted it out with the defiant and nonsensical slogan “NEVER SURRENDER.”

Since then, the Trump store has been selling a wide variety of “NEVER SURRENDER” merch, including signed posters, coffee mugs, and beer koozies. Now it has added another mind-bendingly bizarre layer to this collection by releasing holiday-themed mug-shot paraphernalia. There’s wrapping paper:

Photo: Retailer

A sweatshirt:

Photo: Retailer

And even a Christmas stocking:

Photo: Retailer

Is celebrating Jesus Christ’s birth by tearing into presents wrapped in paper emblazoned with the words “NEVER SURRENDER” and a photo of Trump literally surrendering to authorities in a Santa hat too much for you to process?

Well, I have good news: The Trump store has other holiday items that don’t feature the mug shot. The bad news: Some of these items are also weird. There’s a MAGA hat festooned with Christmas lights (available in green or classic red), a T-shirt featuring a sketch of Santa in a MAGA hat (kind of random, but okay), and this hideous thing:

Photo: Retailer

I’m sorry I made fun of the mug-shot holiday gear. That’s way better than showing up to Christmas dinner in a shirt featuring a drawing of sexy MAGA Mrs. Claus.

This post was updated to include the photo from Trump’s campaign stop.